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Day 1 of yoga challenge;
That was the most intense 7 minutes! ...WOW....I feel like I have had 6 cups of coffee, and I haven't even had my tea yet! Oh, also, none of the mania, jitters, sickness or acid reflux that comes along with coffee either 
My muscles are burning. My breathing is clear. My mind is like a laser (nods to the Plutonians) LoL
It was a rocky start, and I had to make some modifications to my original draft, but the sequence certainly *feels* good... now let's just see those results!
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Day 2 of yoga challenge;
It was easier today to hold the asanas longer than I could yesterday. The same 3 challenged me the most, but I didn't give out this time. I did make the mistake of having a snack and a drink less than 2 hours before the session, and struggled to keep it down 
won't be doing that again.
won't be doing that again.
Same after-effect as before. I feel extremely invigorated. Honestly, after how yesterday went, I can see it bordering on manic, but also like yesterday I feel I am more in control... it almost seems like I have become so accustomed to depression-induced lethargy that any amount of energy beyond "just struggling to stay upright" seems "manic" to me. My mind is alert and focused. Less overthinking, more intensity.
Physically, all of my muscles burn again, but I felt it in my abs a lot more today. I got a LOT deeper into ustrasana (camel pose) today than I did yesterday, and it wasn't nearly as painful (I gave out in the last 10 seconds last time). I am taking the time to rest and recover, but I don't feel incapable of anything. It is as much a discipline not to just jump up and take on the day after session as it is to get through it to begin with LoL.
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Day 3 of #YogaChallenge
Switched to Taoist "reverse breathing" technique for setu bandha sarvangasana and ustrasana. It was accidental (biggest difference is that in bhastrika the muscles move the opposite way) but I kind of liked it and may try this again.
I am feeling less "manic" today. Energy level is still high, but I am dealing with it better than previous days. The intensely focused feeling is there again today as well.
Physically, I handled the whole sequence extremely well today. I barely shook during the more challenging asanas, and even then only toward the end of the 1 minute interval. Muscles feel tight and strong. Pain is barely a factor now. I feel it, but nothing like the first day.
I noticed another development yesterday; I am craving less. I have not changed my diet or activity level, that was part of the experiment, but I am finding that I want to eat less. I just don't think about food as much, I feel full faster, and I have also been wanting simple foods like breads and grains more often. I had some toasted bread with butter and a little cheese yesterday, and the butter actually put me off it after 2 of the 3 pieces I prepared.
The rapid progress is rather outstanding, and I feel worthy of mention. In most cases, expecting a change in as little as one week would be laughable, but with each passing day it actually seems more realistic considering other factors. Mind you I am not expecting to shed 20 pounds in a week, that would be unhealthy even if it were possible, but even a half inch around my waistline would be exceptional in such a short time.
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Day 4 of #YogaChallenge
winded...
I was starving this morning, so I ate a piece of sourdough bread with caraway seeds. The sequence I am doing should ***NOT*** be attempted with any food on the stomach whatsoever.
Ustrasana (camel pose) was more difficult today. The rest were fine save for the reversal of stomach flow making everything a bit more difficult than it should have been.
Energy level is high. Mental acuity equally so. Mood seems stable.
I had some more personal revelations last night. I also handled stressful things yesterday a lot better than I have in the past... it seems that the "unblocking" of emotional baggage and past trauma happens throughout the day post-session. With each day, as more things are released and more realizations unveiled, my ability to cope, adapt, and maintain control improves proportionately.
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Day 5 #YogaChallenge
I slept without sleeping pills last night. I awoke with more energy and confidence than I have had in recent memory.
Boat, camel, and upward dog were still challenging today. I actually caved a little during camel. My vajrasana/kapahbati was interrupted, so I had to do it in two phases. I also had a lot of trouble with shivasana... not that holding the "pose" is difficult, but I do not consider it completed until I experience the full dead-weight of my body and then feel myself "drop out" -this took an exceptionally long time today, and took a bit longer yesterday as well, come to think of it.
Energy level is good. Noticed one pair of my pants is already a little looser than it used to be. Mentally I have good focus and concentration. I have to admit, I was a bit disappointed in myself for getting a little agitated when my exercise was interrupted... but I know kapahlbati and bhastrika both can have something of a "triggering" effect on those of us with PTSD and anxiety... so it was really bad timing, and that likely accounts for some of it. The real test will be seeing how I deal with the rest of the day.
*My yoga turned me vegetarian lol
Since I started my #YogaChallenge I've eaten less in general, and eaten less meat each day. Today, I've not had any! All the while just following my cravings lol*
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Wow... day 6 of #YogaChallenge
...only ONE more day until we take measurements...
Once again, camel kicked my a$$. Surprisingly, I only gave out in the last second. Oddly, I had a weird dry coughing fit in the middle of it while doing bhastrika. All other asanas were no problem. There was some muscular stress in the more challenging ones, but nothing like it was the first couple of days.
I slept without pills again last night. I did wake up at 2 something (jennifer and baby stuff apparently) and found it somewhat difficult to get back to sleep, but I DID get back to sleep, without drugs, and before sunrise. This is a MASSIVE improvement for me. I haven't had drug-free sleep in years, and waking up after having some sleep always just meant that was when my day started, even if it was 2 or 3 A.M.
Energy levels are high. Body feels good. I am not aching after sessions anymore. I don't feel "manic" either, just awake, alert, and focused. I have been dealing with stress extremely well lately. Things have not gotten under my skin as much as they used to. Anything that has been upsetting has been dealt with much more efficiently and effectively because I can voice and analyze my thoughts and feelings better now. I feel like I am much quicker and keener when it comes to finding solutions too.
One day left, and I feel like I am unlocking superpowers!
* OH! and let's not forget I became and accidental vegetarian for 3 days! Eating rice and vegetables for lunch right now, so going on 4.
I did not eat this way intentionally. I have just been following my cravings. Greasy foods have put me off since day 2. I have been eating less each day, usually only one or two meals. I have been craving simple things like bread, seeds and now vegetables. Meat just has not seemed appealing to me. I have never had a problem with eating meat. There is no moral or ethical undertone to any of this. I simply have been letting my body tell me what to eat and how much is this is what I've gotten.*
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Here it is... #YogaChallenge Day 7
Doing my daily report before getting down to measurements.
I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep last night. It was like my body was fighting it though my mind wanted it. Not sure what caused it, but had to be noted.
I woke with fairly average energy for this week, which is to say much more than before I started this challenge. I had the same trouble I have been having with "completing" shivasana. Once I got going, however, there were no problems at all. Even ustrasana (camel pose) only challenged me for the last 3 seconds! All asanas felt much more comfortable and "sure" if that makes any sense as a descriptor. It was all much more "clean" precise and solid.
I got through the set in record time (once I got started after shivasana) and, as usual, my energy level is much higher, my mind is more focused and clear, and my body feels "charged". There is no pain today.
Strangely, colors seem brighter, light is less harsh, and music sounds more beautiful... it is almost psychedelic.
*After as little as 1 week, any result is a good result! Down 1/2 inch!
Most importantly, I feel much better. I am clearer headed, more focused, have more energy, and I am dealing with stress much, much better.
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Day 8 #YogaChallenge
One week down and the changes are noticeable. My overall mood and energy levels have improved much. I am sleeping more soundly and falling asleep more easily. Stress doesn't get to me as much, I have not craved alcohol, I am eating less, fatty foods turn me off, and I haven't had any hallucinations or episodes for days.
Asanas were much easier today. I didn't struggle to hold any of them, and they all felt much deeper... all apart from navasana. For some reason I couldn't get my legs up as high today, but my back felt straighter, so it's a tough call...
Typical results from today's session- hightened energy, improved focus, muscles feel good, no pain or tension as in the beginning.
We had a little "party" last night to celebrate a successful week. Two bottles of wine, almost all to myself aside from a couple glasses for Jennifer Posey and I hadn't even the slightest hint of a hangover this morning. A bit haggard from *other* things but no lasting effects from the alcohol, which says to me it was processed more effectively in my body, connoting improved organ function.
but no lasting effects from the alcohol, which says to me it was processed more effectively in my body, connoting improved organ function.
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Day 9 #YogaChallenge
Last night was awful... this morning was awful... today was awful...
7PM and I just did my yoga set.
Have to say, I do feel much better, and I am interested to see how it affects my sleep doing it after dark.
I did get "into" shivasana much more easily this evening. Camel gave me trouble again, but I think that was in my alignment and I got comfortable after I corrected it. Another coughing fit during kapahlbati.
Energy level is up and head is clear. No jitters this time, just calm, focused, and "alive" feeling.
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Day 10 #YogaChallenge;
I did my sequence late yesterday, after dark, which is atypical. Sleep was more sound than average, and I required less distraction or time to get to sleep.
Some digestive isues today, may or may not be related to the sequence, or the time at which I performed it last night, but data worth recording. It could possibly be related to movement of "energies" in the lower chakra region. Correlating emotional and mental phenomena seem to have been occurring... I was very distressed and easily upset yesterday. Highly sensitive, easily hurt or irritated, felt ignored, unappreciated and invalidated in general. These feelings faded after performing the sequence.
Results of today's practice are typical of more recent sessions; little to no pain or struggle, asanas all felt solid, energy level is good, no residual discomfort or tension, mind is focused and alert.
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Day 11 #YogaChallenge
Nearly left it today. Awoke with more digestive distress that lasted into midday. By afternoon I was passing out the baby was grumpy and Jennifer's meds and other issues sent her to bed... so it is to be another late session tonight.
For what it's worth, I didn't get nearly as angry today at all the inconveniences as I know I would have in the past. Nonetheless there were some fits of anxiety.
_session begins_ 7:45 PM_
The "drop" in shivasana was near instantaneous (likely due to exhaustion). Boat was the most challenging, but camel, with which I have had the most trouble, was amazingly comfortable and I didn't want to stop when time was up; no pain at all. I nearly vomited in child's pose (after kapahlbati in vajrasana), but we have already established that this sequence should never be performed on a full stomach, and I had just eaten. All other asanas were comfortable.
Energy is up, focus is sharp, body is "tingling" with no pain or tension. Some relief from the anxiety and upset from the rest of the day.
...now to see if I can sleep after this... hopefully I can perform first thing in the morning and have less digestive trouble... :::knocks wood:::
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Day 12 #YogaChallenge
Sleep came easy last night despite the late session. Woke at what seems to be an average time now- between 5 and 6 AM- which has been fairly consistent for several days now...
Got legs up MUCH higher and with greater ease for boat pose. I was surprised at how they seemed to "snap" up to head height (if not higher) straight away from shivasana. Bridge felt so good I didn't want to stop. Camel was no trouble at all. No coughing in the middle of kapahlbati/vajrasana as has been common of late. Surprisingly, child's pose (extended child's pose, actually) was the most challenging; there was a "popping" in my lower thoracic spine that came with rechka (exhalation) and considerable pain in my shoulders and neck. There was a little bit of that "puke-y" feeling too, even though I had not eaten.
Overall, I am still dealing with upset and stress far better than I have in the past, and motivation, while still not high or easy to come by, is notably better than it was before I began this practice. Energy is consistently higher and sleep is consistently better. Mind focused. Mood, above average.
Just 2 days before the 2 week mark and more measurements. Whether this practice is helping me burn fat or not, it is certainly doing wonders for my PTSD, stress, anxiety, and depression.
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Day 13 #YogaChallenge
Happy Birthday 2 ME!
Got sleepy real early last night, slept soundly with NO DRUGS! and woke just before 5 AM feeling quite lively. It was cold this morning, and this routine is very difficult with cold, stiff muscles. Took time to warm the room before practice.
It is all feeling rather routine now. I did have some trembling for the last 15 seconds of navasana (boat pose) but residual cold may account for that.
I have been noticing a big part of my difficulty in shivasana is from a lot of discomfort in my upper thoracic and cervical spine. It isn't pain, but everything is "crunchy" and I feel like the area between my shoulders needs to move "up" (toward my breastbone) and the back of my neck needs to move "down" (toward the floor when lying in shivasana). This creates significant distraction until a relative amount of comfort can be achieved.
There was some aching in my legs during bridge pose. Cold and faulty alignment was almost certainly the cause.
post-session results are typical; energetic, no pain, focused, light is no painful, colors are bright and vibrant, body feels good.
I didn't get hungry today, so I didn't have any of the problems I've had before with food or drink on my stomach. I am still instinctively eating smaller portions. Eating too much just puts me off. I have been eating meat again, but not as much as I used to, and it has staved off the hunger pains more since I have.
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Day 14 #YogaChallenge
Was out of town so coming in late. Also got blackout drunk last night and working through a hangover this evening so this was an interesting session.
Had some difficulty with boat and camel, but not near as much as in the past, which is impressive considering the circumstances. Kapahlbati and subsequent child's pose resulted in some feeling of impending vomit, but, again, it was easier to maintain than previous sessions after just having eaten.
Less "hungover" feeling now, muscles and joints ache less. Not as focused or energized. Quite sleepy. Breathing easier.
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Day 15 #YogaChallenge
Measurement pics coming soon.
Slept well, woke feeling good. Didn't need or want caffeine this morning.
Had trouble in navasana (boat pose) and didn't get legs as high as I like. No real issues with any other asanas, though I was more stiff and uncomfortable in general this morning.
I maintained kapahlbati for a full minute without stopping and without any discomfort of any kind. No puke-y feeling today.
I suppose I have "focus" today, but, really, it has become more of a natural state now. I'd say that there is less mental "static" in general at this point. Directly post session it seems the negative intrusive thoughts vanish for a period, but they are also less frequent in general now. Also less intense and easier to block out, ignore, or let go of.
My body no longer feels as stiff and there is no residual pain in my muscles.
*Have also noticed a big increase in long-term recall since starting my#YogaChallenge particularly going into week two. I've managed to remember tiny details about things long, LONG past.
Today I remembered "jawas" were the little desert people from "Star Wars" when I never even liked tgw series and saw only the old ones maybe twice and none of the new ones. I watched those when I was around Caegan's age.*
*
Only other thing I've done differently apart from the yoga sequence since starting my #YogaChallenge is throat singing, particularly sygyt throat singing daily.*
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Day 16 #YogaChallenge
Midday session today and I feel AMAZING after. I mean, euphoric is a strong word, but fairly appropriate. I felt my head lulling and my heart smiling as if I had just been three-way french kissed by Shiva and Shakti themselves...
Legs got high in navasana, but I did struggle to hold it. Ustrasana was no trouble and felt fantastic, I really wanted to hold it for twice as long. Kept up kapahlbati for the full minute and felt like I could have gone longer.Extended balasana revealed some aching tension in the neck and shoulders. Upward dog revealed some interesting "clunking" in the hips as they seemed to be attempting to align. I have had some issues with my knees. I've been twisting the lower leg into place with the upper leg rather painfully every day for at least a month now. Can't help but think there may be a connection. My hips have always been poorly aligned. Found that out years ago from a chiropractor.
Another major bout of digestive distress came last night and there was residual this morning. I believe this is part of all the built up "negative energy" moving and being uprooted from my system. I have mentioned increased long-term recall. I have also been more assertive without being aggressive, more confident and easier to pull myself away from anxiety or intrusive thoughts. I've felt majorly depressed once in the past two weeks, and that didn't even last more than a few hours.
I have lost over an inch from my hips, and gained over an inch to my bust in this time as well.
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Day 17 #YogaChallenge
only 4 days left until the full review.
I went to sleep early last night, but I did not sleep solid through the night. Thankfully, no digestive disturbance last night or this morning ::knocks wood::
Shaking throughout the session today, not the whole time, but the typically challenging asanas (boat, camel, upward dog) all had me shaking before the minute was up today. I also had a little bit of acid reflux in bridge and child's poses.
Despite having more difficulty in general than it seems I have in a while, post-session I feel fine. If anything, there is a feeling of release. All that was stiff and rigid now feels loose and limber. It's an odd way to describe it, but it was as if my body was crusted in plaster and the session has caused it to crumble and flake off. That's the most vivid description of the feeling I can think of anyway.
I had a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders, which showed through in navasana and balasana especially in the form of a cold, dull ache. Ustrasana seemed the most helpful in relieving this.
Mentally and emotionally I feel as I typically have post-session, and this feeling is lasting longer and longer, to the point that it has almost become the standard rather than the exception, which is to say I don't feel much "different" though in the past week I have *been* different than I was before I began this experiment.
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Pics of me are all over this page. Do you think I'm fat? If not, then don't compare my tits to chub-tits, it's hella fucking invalidating
-Thanks, mgmt.
p.s. if you do think I'm fat, and that my breasts are not "real breasts" because I am just a fat, ridiculous *man* and always will be, because I happen to have a penis, you can just lick the scar tissue on my fuckin "taint" until your mind is changed or I get sick of you.
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